人们常常认为漂亮的女人，有钱的男人很容易找对象。 喜欢他们的人排队等着。他们可以任意挑选。 但这种观念恰恰没有发生在Wendy 身上。
Wendy是公众认为的靓女。 她1.70米高，很苗条。原来曾经跳过舞，所以身材也特别好。 来澳洲20多年中，她也很努力，自己创业，成了一名百万富翁。没有人怀疑她找不到人。 但她恰恰在找对象过程中很不顺利。寻寻觅觅多年，还单身一人。 当然有人喜欢她，但她不喜欢。但她喜欢的人，对方又不喜欢她。
为了帮助Wendy, 我与好几位她曾经喜欢的男士聊过。我发现他们给Wendy的反馈很相识。他们都承认Wendy漂亮。 也说她有很好的性格。但都表示Wendy 不懂一些必要的礼貌和礼节。比如，Wendy 喜欢嚼口香糖。 约会时，她的嘴一直在嚼着口香糖。在西方文化中，她这样做很不礼貌。
还有一位男士告诉我他们的第一次约会大约持续了1.5小时。在此期间，Wendy的手机几乎没有停止过。她接了将近10个电话。 因为讲的都是中文，那位男士听不懂他们在说什么。从礼貌的角度，在当地社会中大部分人在与人约会，或开会时都自觉关闭手机，或放入震动。他们认为 这是对人的尊重。但Wendy不仅不断接听手机，而已不为此抱歉。这使 这位男士认为她没有礼貌。
我还听到一位男士对她的抱怨。两人事先约好见面。 但Wendy到了10分钟后就说有其他事必须离开。 而那位男士为了与她的约会推脱了其他事。他认为Wendy急促离去很不尊重他人。
我听了男士的这些反馈很有感慨。 我相信不是每一位男士都会抱怨Wendy的这些表现。但所抱怨的人正好是Wendy有兴趣了解的人。他们在主流社会受过教育，有正当，甚至成功生意。他们的成长，生活和工作都习惯于必要的文明礼貌。 Wendy的做法令他们吃惊，不舒服。
我相信Wendy的这些表现不是出自本意。她可能根本不知道和人说话，嘴里不应该嚼食物； 她可能认为和人约会时没有必要关闭手机。来了电话当然应该接； 她也可能真的有事，所以坐了10分钟就要离开。她做的一切都可以理解，但这些行为影响了她物色优秀男士的目标。
谈恋爱也是与人打交道的一种形式。 无论什么原因，或者无论与谁相处，我们都应该懂得基本的礼貌和礼节， 我们也希望对方以同样的方式与我们相处。在文明社会中，人的文明素质在提高，对文明的要求也同样在增加。
当然，我们还要意识到中，西方社会和文化对文明，礼貌的标准和习俗可能不同。比如在中国嘴里嚼着食物和人说话没有问题。与人相会时大家都开着手机，都在接电话，所以也不是问题。 而这些在亚洲社会不重要的事在西方社会却被看成那么重要。暂时不了解这些事的重要性不是问题，问题是永远不了解，或不想了解。
还有一些人认为那些礼貌和礼节是做给他人看的。只要自己喜欢，或认为有必要，做到这些也不难。 为此在与那些被认为不在乎的人交往时，他们就不在乎那些礼貌和礼节。 估计Wendy第一次约会只给10分钟的那位是她没有兴趣的男士。但我想说的是我们生活中的任何表现，或言语都是出于习惯。 如果不把必要的礼貌和礼节培养称习惯，那么有一天遇到自己喜欢的人，那些不文明也一定会露陷的。
陈小姐婚恋
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周一至周五10AM至5：30PM；周六10AM至5PM
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